Today was one of those days where I woke up in a funk, and never completely left it. Reading an article in GQ magazine about Christian Music Festivals made me think a lot about what people who do not call themselves Christians think of us. It makes me think that I’m some kind of freak, some kind of weirdo, maybe I’m the one wrong, and they’re the one that’s right.
There’s something scary about that. Something I can’t quite put my finger on. I’m sure some would read this post and believe that I’m simply scared to leave the bounds of my comfortable Christian worldview. While that may be part of it, I don’t think that’s the foremost part of the feeling I’ve got. I think sometimes the problem is that I cannot explain its rationale in human terms. I’m not sure how to defend it, as if it needs defending.
But there are days when I read the word and it just smacks of truth. Doubt dissipates. Jesus responds to John the Baptist in an interesting way in Luke 7:18-23. John is in prison for preaching, and so he sends his disciples to question Jesus. “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?” John was questioning if his whole ministry was pointless, if he had it wrong the whole time. That gut-wrenching kind of doubt you get.
Jesus responds in an interesting way. He doesn’t rebuke John or his disciples; he doesn’t tell them to just forget doubting. He says “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.”
When doubt hits me, I look back at what God has done for me, who he has impacted around me, how he has changed me. Doubt dissipates.