For 39 days I have spent every waking hour (and many sleeping hours) feeding, diapering, rocking, and caring for our new baby. In short, I have been a mother with all the jobs of a mother. Today I left Nora with Jesse for the first time and no one who saw me knew I was a mother.
It was hard…and weird. I drove the Camry instead of the minivan. I carried a clutch instead of a diaper bag. I got a pedicure without worrying that Nora would cry or need changed or need fed. In the past I always brought my own nail polish to be practical and be able to touch up my toes between pedicures. Today I used one of their colors…pink to remind me that I can be pretty…even when I smell like milk. I wore my hair down and curly not in a ponytail or bun. I went to Starbucks without carrying a heavy carseat. I relaxed…and tried to remember my other identities. I was a wife, a woman, a daughter, a sister, and a friend.
And feeling blessed, I came home to be a family with a sleeping daughter and a father who loves Nora and a husband who loves his wife.