Author: Jesse

I liked the train of thought in Ross’ last post. It makes me wonder how much God wants us to know. I don’t think God created us to simply think about him. He created us to experience his love, and to be in relationship with him. So how much time should we devote to thinking, discussing, and trying to figure out God?

God obviously created us with an innate curiosity about the world around us. As humans we try to figure things out, categorize them, simplify them. I think that these are gifts and special abilities that God has given out, so we’re obviously meant to use them. I don’t think God calls us to never question Him, never wonder about him. The Bible talks about people being teachers in 1 Corinthians 12, the skill of teaching God requires you to simplify, and categorize. I cannot believe that it is wrong.

And yet, I don’t believe God wants us to waste all of our time doing that either. When we question God, sometimes we become frustrated that we cannot figure everything out. We will never be able to reason to the extent that we can logically explain him. That’s the point of faith after all. When we rely on our reasoning or our intellect more than our faith, then we have changed our priorities. God says that we cannot understand him in Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways my ways…”

When Jesus sees children in Mark 10:13-16 he says “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” We need to have faith like a child. But as nice and poetic as this sounds it is not easy. Simple faith sounds easy enough, but the world around it accepts it as madness. If you do not have reasoning behind your beliefs you are a fool in the world’s eyes. I always feel a need to be able to “defend” my faith. To be able to logically explain every nuance of the Christian faith. I am frustrated when I cannot.

How radical would it be to say to your non-christian friends that you simply believe on faith?

I’ve been on a line of thought about community for the past week and I just need to post it here. It saddens me to see the patterns that develop in a community over time. For example, it seems like (especially in a college ministry, but in churches as well) there are a ton of people who get involved with the community right away and enjoy participating in it, but as time goes on many drop out, and only some go until the end. I’ve seen this pattern as I get older, and it frustrates me. Why do so many people not get involved and stay involved?

Now you have to excuse me that what I’m about to say is an overgeneralization, and that not every person fits neatly into a catagory. I realize that people have many varying reasons that they may not be involved anymore, and I accept them as good reasons. But this is a theory that struck me the other day. It is a theory, meaning that I may be wrong, or need further thought, and you may correct me on it.

I guess I see people in stages that they start in, and move on to…

New Members: This is where people start. Someone finds a community of believers, and if it is a good fit for them, they get involved, participate and learn within the community. In this sense, it is rewarding. They are essentially takers. Spititually, they are being fed. This is an easy stage to be in, because it doesn’t ask anything of them, and no one expects anything of them. They cannot stay in this stage for a long time though, because communities have needs, physical needs, and spiritual needs. So they move on to another stage…

The Laborers: This is where people should end up. They still participate and learn within a community, but it may not be as rewarding anymore. These people realize the purpose of being invested in earlier, and realize the community has needs that they can meet. So they volunteer to meet them. They are essentially givers. Spititually, they are feeding others. It is a lot harder, it wears on them, and it can be very frustrating at times. It can also be very rewarding, more than only being fed. It would be best if everyone would stay here forever, however, I’m not sure that’s the case.

The Unmatured: These are the people that never completely move out of the beginning stage. Either they choose to ignore the pleas of the needs of the community, or they never really realize that they community has any needs. They are still takers, still being fed. It may or may not be rewarding for them depending on their reason they’re at this stage. It could be that they are afraid to become a laborer because it sounds daunting, or they feel inexperienced, or they may be oblivious. They can wear on the people around them who are investing in them because it can mean so much giving without any recieving. Some take some time, and eventually move on, others stay here forever.

The Leavers: These people get frustrated that the community is no longer as rewarding for them. And while they realize that the community has needs, for some reason they cannot start giving. Whether the problem is time, or inexperience, or laziness, they choose to leave the community because they do not see the purpose of the community if it is no longer rewarding, and they refuse to serve others needs. They are mature enough to see that they cannot continue only taking, yet they cannot move to the laborer stage. So they leave, possibly to start over somewhere else.

Bear in mind that this is a theory, and that I may be wrong, but it is simply how I see things currently. It sounds rather utilitarian now that I put it in writing, but that’s the pattern I have seen. Please correct me if I’m wrong, I would appreciate comments.

I’m not sure where I get this crazy idea that christian community should be easy and perfect. That would be completely unrealistic, unhuman, and unbiblical. Yet, I’m frustrated by the imperfection that I still find. I expect that when people find Christian community that they will be loved, accepted, and shown grace by the people around them. It can happen, I’ve felt the effects of people treating me like that at times. I’ve tried to show it myself to the others around me.

But you can never show that perfectly. Someone is always left out, someone is always not included. I tend to take a lot of responsibility when people are critical of the community I’m involved in. I feel like they are dissing me personally. Maybe its because I try so hard sometimes to get everyone involved. Maybe its because I feel like I have failed. I let the team down. Sorry.

But I know that I have limitations. I cannot talk to everyone, I cannot show love to everyone, I cannot include everyone. I do not have that capacity. It is freeing to realize that. Does that mean I ignore those people that I know are hurting though? How do I work within my limitations to do the best that I can, while still not feeling like a failure everytime someone says something negative about our community?

Real people are hurting out there. Who should I persue? Who does God want me to persue?

Today was one of those days where I woke up in a funk, and never completely left it. Reading an article in GQ magazine about Christian Music Festivals made me think a lot about what people who do not call themselves Christians think of us. It makes me think that I’m some kind of freak, some kind of weirdo, maybe I’m the one wrong, and they’re the one that’s right.

There’s something scary about that. Something I can’t quite put my finger on. I’m sure some would read this post and believe that I’m simply scared to leave the bounds of my comfortable Christian worldview. While that may be part of it, I don’t think that’s the foremost part of the feeling I’ve got. I think sometimes the problem is that I cannot explain its rationale in human terms. I’m not sure how to defend it, as if it needs defending.

But there are days when I read the word and it just smacks of truth. Doubt dissipates. Jesus responds to John the Baptist in an interesting way in Luke 7:18-23. John is in prison for preaching, and so he sends his disciples to question Jesus. “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?” John was questioning if his whole ministry was pointless, if he had it wrong the whole time. That gut-wrenching kind of doubt you get.

Jesus responds in an interesting way. He doesn’t rebuke John or his disciples; he doesn’t tell them to just forget doubting. He says “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.”

When doubt hits me, I look back at what God has done for me, who he has impacted around me, how he has changed me. Doubt dissipates.

Last year in my Classical Politics class I got to read some of the greats like Plato and Aristotle. I enjoyed reading Plato. I felt like I could connect to some of his philosophys because it was so true for all of humanity. One of my favorite ideas that I took out of that class was a quote from one of his books that said,

“The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant.”

Essentially, I feel like the more I learn, the less I know. College has been like that for me, I entered college as a young bright student feeling like I essentially knew everything. Almost four years later I have learned so much, and yet most of what I know is how massive this world is, and how many subjects I have not yet delved into.

I doubt that God intended for us to be able to figure everything out, but he gave us an intellect for a reason. I’m glad that the Bible isn’t so self explanatory that it can be figured out with a glance. Otherwise faith wouldn’t be involved. No good idea or theory is without complexities. At the risk of sounding too postmodern, I think what the church needs is more open dialogue. Doubt is discouraged, placed at the back of our minds so that we won’t have to face the hard questions in our journey with Christ.

This site is simply a place for Ross and myself to post our thoughts. Specifically, our thoughts on Christian spirituality. I hope that we will confront some of those doubts here. This is an open dialogue, Ross and I will throw thoughts back and forth, and I hope that you’ll contribute as well by posting yours in comments. Check back soon, as we’ll be posting again any day.